I have no tolerance for boys who feel entitled to being assumed a man when they have the maturity levels of a teenager.
I know, I’m a girl. What in the world would I know about the process of boys becoming men. Well, more than you’d probably assume. I know that I’ve dated boys & I’ve also dated men. While it took me awhile to figure out the difference, there’s definitely a big one.
So if you happen to be female and reading this, this is what my experiences has taught me. Hopefully you’ll hold out for a worthy man, and not a boy who think you’re just pretty.
If you’re male, my hope is that you identify as a man, but the vast majority are just boys. So if this offends your pride, I can’t say I’m sorry about it.
A Christian male has the unique role to protect, provide, and lead. These things aren’t easy! They’re really hard (I’m glad that I’m not a dude). This isn’t just qualities that magically come upon you when you get married. Men make decisions, men are considerate, men listen. I promise you there’s nothing more noticeable that a attentive man who remembers what you say. Men let you walk on the inside of the sidewalk, open your doors (not because you can’t, you strong independent woman, you. But because they’re humbling themselves to serve you, LET THEM.), tell you ‘thank you’, and ‘yes ma’am’. They will pray for you, with you, and will put your needs first. They are cautious of how their words and actions affect the people around them, and always make their intentions with girls clear. They are self disciplined and kind.
Guys if I could give you any girl advice, it would be to listen. Genuinely listen. Because if she’s not worth 5 minutes of not looking at your phone don’t sell her short when someone would LOVE to hear her talk all day.
On the other hand,
Boys will expect you to serve them, they’re not cautious of their words, they’ll make inappropriate jokes in the presence of ladies, they have very little capacity to listen. Most ‘boys’ are intimidated or avoid emotional conversation or issues all together OR they’ll be so concerned about their feelings you’ll feel the need to step on eggshells. In a relationship, boys have nothing to offer you. If you’re dating with purpose, home boy needs a job, a car, and preferably not living in moms basement playing video games all night. (But everyone’s circumstances are different, I’m not a total monster). Boys aren’t smart with their finances, good managers of their resources, and have a distinct aroma of pride and testosterone.
Now I know, this is two blanket categories that most people don’t fit into one or the other. We are all continuing to grow and mature in Christ and break some habits that negatively impact ourselves and others. So ladies have some grace, these guys have big shoes to fill. Also encourage them to step up, give them opportunities to make decisions or to be in charge.
To the man: thank you. Thank you for giving us girls something look forward to. Something to look up to and encourage. I pray that you get some boys under your wing so they can be where you are
To the boy: I know this whole thing sounds harsh and for that I’m sorry. That’s due to my lack of compassion (hey, I’m not perfect either) and it being 2 a.m. Find some men in your life and start doing life with them. Put down the videogames and learn a new skill. If you have any girls in your life, focus on learning how to listen & how to respond in affective ways.
To the ladies: grace sister, grace. Be intentional with when you get the job done, and when you can pass the stick to your guy friend. Let them pick the restaurant, let them drive, pick of the tab, and give them the “yes sir”. Let them open your doors, close them, drive you home, push in your chair. Swallow your feminine pride and be served by those who need the practice.
Not personally responsible for any convictions or feelings hurt, if you need support in this area call your momma. 😉